Letters to Zoe

Wow. It has been over a month since we've written to you. A lot has changed. Now that you're nearly back to sleep, I can tell you about it.

We're pretty sure you are teething, though nothing is showing on your gums yet. You've taken to drooling profusely and gnawing on anything you can get in your mouth. Thus far your favorite teething toy is the Bjorn carrier. If we put you in it facing outward you can soak it with drool in mere minutes. Last night I was a few minutes from taking you to bed when you started screaming while still asleep. You gave your Papa quite a scare, as he came rushing in from bed to see what had happened. After accepting that we weren't gonna get much sleep and giving you some Oragel, you promptly fell asleep for five hours.

You're getting really big now. You will be four months old in a week. Last I checked you were about 13lbs and nearly 24 inches long. That put you in the 50th percentile based on your current age (rather than your corrected age). You've really caught up fast. Thankfully, you are also tolerating spending more time in things like the bouncy seat and the stroller, as it is getting harder on us to hold you for long periods.

Car rides are still a gamble but we have been to Hanford to visit Grandma, Grandpa & Uncle Tom. We took pictures with Aunt Mary who is the oldest living member (98 years and counting) of our entire family. In a couple days we will head north to visit Nana & Grandad and you'll get to meet Uncle Eric and your cousins, Connor and Nicholas.

We have been having little chats now that you are making more sounds. Your laugh fills me with joy every single time I hear it. You found the vowels particularly funny last night as I was reciting them. Sometimes while I'm trying to nurse you to sleep you will look up at me and smile. It is impossible for me not to smile back even though I usually desperately want you to go to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, you spoiled us for a few nights after your last developmental spurt and slept 7-8 hours a night. Unfortunately that didn't last and we are back to the 4 hour chunks. On the mornings when I don't feel like getting up, I pull you out of the co-sleeper and nurse you laying in bed and we doze off snuggled together (that didn't work this morning -- after drinking two boobs you were still wide awake and wanted to talk so we got up and then, naturally, you fell asleep). We've started a bedtime routine that includes Papa changing your diaper and putting on your jammies then reading a story while you nurse. We tried to separate the story and nursing but you would cry through the story because we were delaying your meal. Some day soon you will outgrow the co-sleeper and we will have to decide whether to put you in your own rom or move the crib into ours. I lean toward the latter even though it will be cumbersome. I just love having you where I can just open my eyes to check on you rather than having to get up and go to another room.

This week I started back at work. So far I have been able to put in just over 3 hours each day, usually while you are napping. We stopped by the office to visit everyone. You smiled at the boss and he's planning to put you on "Uncle Dan's Mailing List" so the influx of toys and outfits should be starting soon. He also said I could bring you in to work with me any time which may be handy if I ever need to be in the office. Things seem to be working out well so far but I'm not sure if I will be able to continue working once you start crawling and walking.

Hmmm... You're asleep finally. Do I put you in the pack & play and make breakfast or go back to bed with you. Tough choice.

Love, Mama

I'm not going to insult you or anyone else by saying "Golly, it's been too long; I'll post more often, I swear." 'cuz I know that's not how it works. But, I will say that I'm sorry I haven't posted more often in the last month or two.

Reason/Excuse: Things are getting better. That is, you sleep more at night (though, not necessarily longer) and are awake more during the day and evening. This means that during my waking hours, you are also awake and therefore not interested in letting me sitting in front of a computer to write you letters. My WoW time has also suffered. ;-)

I would like to note that I am not complaining. I would rather sit in a room and watch you and Momma feed than hole myself away into the office and ignore you two. Hence, I don't have many opportunities to do things like post on blogs. It's my choice. I'd rather be with you than write about being with you.

Anyway. Right now, you and Momma went back to sleep while I was already up, so I've got some time.

Let's see. You're talking now. Not words, not English words anyway, but you are making sounds more than just screaming or crying. You're definitely making vowels and consonant sounds. It's really fascinating to see the little synapses connecting in your brain and you learn a new mouth shape to make a new sound.

Your body is strong enough for me to play with you a little more vigorously. I take you flying now, and you love it. I'll hold your body in my hands and swing you around, up in the air, down by my knees, bring you in for a fly-by (read: a kiss), then send you back out and fly you around again. All the while, you're face has a mix of terror and joy on it. I have a feeling that you're going to be a thrill seaker at places like Disneyland and Great America. My job is to stay not-fat enough to be able to join you, 'cuz I love those rides too.

You started laughing a couple weeks ago. I think I was the first one to see it. We call it your Nerd Laugh 'cuz it's more of a stuttered grunt than a laugh, but you do it while smiling, so that's what we assume it is. :-) It's really damn cute.

We took you to a Halibut party this weekend, a LAN party (in case they've been obsoleted by the time you read this, a LAN party is where everyone gets their computer into one place and connets them all together on a local, high speed network and plays computer games in the same room.) You were a hit. Everyone said how beautiful and well behaved you are. We took you out to breakfast with the gang on Sunday at McLintocks too, and, as always, you were a hit there.

You and I have been going on walks together. If you wake up early and Momma needs more sleep, or if you're not going to sleep and it's pretty late, I'll strap you into the Bjorn, wrap you in a blanket, get my iPod and head out for an hour or two walk. They're really nice, and most of the time, you fall asleep pretty quickly. Of course, if you do, you usually wake up right as we're coming up the drive way. *sigh* But the walks are really nice, good for me, and give Momma some time to herself.

I mentioned earler that we were watching James Bond. Well, we finished all the Bond films and have plowed most of our way through Buffy The Vampire Slayer. We're on Season 5 right now, and, honestly, this is where the show starts to get really dark, broody, and emo. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for dark and emo, but this lays it on a little thick and I've lost interest. So we're moving on to something else.... ...I just haven't figured out what yet.

I'm going to make some breakfast, then wake you and Momma up. We've gotta get ready to take you to the Doctor for a checkup. I love you, baby girl. I realize more and more very day how absoltely madly in love with you I am. Until my next post...