blackmoondog

01/2002: Quit taking birth control pills because side effects suck.

01/2004: Bio clock starts ticking. Start charting cycles.

04/2004: Stop trying to prevent pregnancy. Read a boatload of books to see what I may be in for.

06/2004: Start trying to achieve pregnancy.

12/2004: Find out I'm not actually ovulating.

01/2005: Diagnosed with PCOS, still not ovulating. Try a few recommendations by nurse practitioner (which totally do nothing) to avoid taking Clomid.

05/27/2005: See ob/gyn to ask for metformin. Ob/gyn prescribes metformin before I ask for it.

05/28/2005: Start taking metformin, commencing the "Summer of Nausea".

06/26/2005: Complete a 56 day cycle (down from 62 days in March/April).

07/30/2005: Complete a 35 day, presumably ovulatory cycle thanks to metformin's shake up of my glucose-insulin response.

10/2005-04/2006: Cycles are consistently ovulatory and 30-38 days long.

12/2005-03/2006: Bastard body keeps tricking me into thinking I'm pregnant when I'm really not. I become suspicious that I don't have enough progesterone for implantation and we're losing fertilized eggs every cycle.

01/30/2006: Have HSG that shows my tubes and uterus look totally normal. Pay $1400 out of pocket.

03/17/2006: Relate aforementioned suspicion to ob/gyn who says there is no proof that I have a luteal phase defect (despite the early basal temp drops on my chart and feeling several low progesterone symptoms as described on an infertility website), blah blah blah, keep trying and see me in 2 months.

03/31/2006: First day of cycle (aka, Aunt Flo pays a visit).

04/02/2006: Announce to the Internet and to ob/gyn that we're taking a break from trying to conceive after 2-3 cycles of extreme disappointment.

04/13/2006: Call to make an appointment with acupuncturist highly recommended by a co-worker of mine and one of Mark's. Figure that if nothing else, it might be good for stress relief.

04/13/2006 (a few minutes later): Find out that said acupuncturist is only seeing new clients if they have problems with fertility. Make appointment for following Monday despite the fact that we're "not trying".

04/16/2006: Have Our-House-Guests-Have-Vacated-The-Premises sex.

04/17/2006: First visit to acupuncturist (Described here).

04/18/2006: Have Our-House-Guests-Are-Returning-Tomorrow sex.

04/20/2006: Likely date of ovulation.

04/21/2006: Start taking smelly herbs blended for me by acupuncturist.

04/21-22/2006: Likely window of conception.

05/01/2006: Start of 3 hell days at work.

05/02/2006: Notice that my period is due in 4 days and I'm managing to deal with very stressful work days without bursting into flames and few of my normal pms symptoms are present. Praise smelly herbs for their quick results.

05/03/2006: Burst into tears before work in anticipation of third hellish work day. So much for supposed hormonal balance. Upon departure for work, I pulled myself together with the help of Counting Crows on the iPod in the car. There was no further freaking out.

05/04/2006: Work crap eases up. See acupuncturist who tells me she doesn't want to see me until tomorrow (when my period is due) but they're closed tomorrow. We chat for a few minutes about how I'm feeling, she looks at my chart and scolds me for not having sex on the right days, and then we make another appointment for the following week. She also mentions that the smelly herbs were supposed to help raise my progesterone levels (take that ob/gyn!!).

05/05/2006, wee hours: I wake up due to what I can only describe as uterine contractions. They weren't really painful so I'd hesitate to call them cramps. Got up and visited the potty in case it was something I ate that was trying to fight its way out. Went back to sleep.

05/05/2006, not-so-wee hours: Bid farewell to Mark, as he was departing for Lake San Antonio to work the Wildflower Triathlon over the weekend. Go to work, fully expecting period to start while there. But it doesn't. And it doesn't start in the afternoon. Or evening. Or while I'm sleeping. Tell Mark this on the phone and that I'm peeing on a stick in the morning if it hasn't started by then because my basal temps have been up for a full 14 days (which has never happened since I started charting).

05/06/2006, 6:00am: Basal temp 98.3F, up from the previous day's 98.1F. Pee on a stick and see a faint plus sign. Sit stunned for a moment before commencing hyperventilation and repeating "oh my god" over and over. Dial Mark's cell number and burst into tears, sobbing into the phone when he sleepily answers. Manage to get out another "oh my god" between sobs and then tell him that he's gonna be a daddy. I regain composure and we talk a bit about whether or not I should tell my mom when I see her later that morning. I decide not to tell her before confirming the pregnancy with my ob/gyn but reserve the right to waffle. Take fuzzy pictures of the plus sign to post on blog. Decide fuzzy pictures aren't good enough and plan to take another pregnancy test in a couple days, primarily to get a good photo to post on the blog.

05/06/2006, 9:00am: Pick up mom & aunt to go to book sale. Manage to not tell anyone anything for the rest of the day despite temptation to tell mom so I wouldn't have to do yardwork all afternoon.

05/06/2006, afternoon: Do yardwork.

05/06/2006, 7:00pm: Say goodbyes with mom, managing to not tell her. It was easier than I expected because I still didn't quite believe it was true.

05/06/2006, evening: Order a book on pregnancy that I really liked from those I checked out of the local library back in 2004. Fiddle with online due date calculators (estimated at around January 13, 2006, and sadly, that isn't a Friday). Looked up the Bravado nursing bra to confirm that they still make a tie-dye version. Tell Mark that I will absolutely be getting said tie-dye nursing bra at which point he reaffirms that I am most definitely the person he wants to have as the mother of his child.

05/06/2006, 10:30pm: Head to bedroom to find the neighbors had been smoking in their backyard and the open bathroom window made the entire room smell like a dirty ashtray. Lament the plight of the dog's sense of smell in the modern world. Lament *my* sense of smell. Lament having neighbors who smoke. Close bathroom window, turn ceiling fan on high and leave the room for a few minutes to get a glass of water and a pack of saltines (just in case). Return to bedroom and go to sleep.

05/07/2006, 3:11am: Wake up slightly nauseated, hungry, and needing to pee. Start thinking about everything. Wake up completely. Lay in bed with mind racing, unable to find a position that will allow me to get back to sleep. Start mentally composing this post.

05/07/2006, 4:07am: Take temp (still 98.3F). Eat a couple crackers and decide we should buy stock in a company that makes saltines.

05/07/2006, 4:13am: Get up, visit the loo, make an english muffin, decide that we should also buy stock in the company that makes Thomas' English Muffins, and sit down to actually write this post. :)