I give*. Throw in the towel. At least for a while.
I've been waiting to feel a bit less hormonally deranged before sitting down to write this post. I dunno if I waited long enough or not.
In June it will have been two years since we started trying to conceive. By this time in 2004, we'd already quit actively trying to prevent conception.
It was one thing when every cycle ended with nothing. That was frustrating. Little did I know it would be taken to an entirely new level the past 2-3 cycles as I've had mild pregnancy symptoms and rising basal temperatures that crap out about 4 days before my period starts. I can't do this anymore. Not without a rest from the heartbreak.
So, I'm gonna keep training for the Bay To Breakers. Donate blood. Maybe get a tattoo. Get the tetanus shot for which I'm now overdue. Ask my boss for the raise that is *way* overdue. Hell, maybe even change jobs. Plant my garden. Try to plan a trip to Seattle. Avoid baby related stuff as much as I can and try to heal for a bit. Then we'll re-evaluate the situation.
I'm gonna keep taking the metformin and continue charting my temps (since I'm already in the habit and it is handy to know in advance when Aunt Flo may be dropping by) but that's it. Nothing else.
And now, I'm going to bed since I already know that cursed Daylight Savings Time is gonna kick my ass in the morning.
(*- This really means "we" give. Mark is getting pretty worn down by the whole thing too, and was relieved to hear I was thinking about taking a break from trying to conceive. I don't often enough acknowledge how hard this is on him and just how much his support means to me.)
